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We set up goals to achieve things that are important to us, but we tend to forget that goal-setting is a skill that most of us are really bad at.
There is only one way to make ourselves better at it: by practicing, and that includes facing the risk of not achieving our goals.
We aren’t good at goal-setting because we aren’t realistic about our time schedule, commitments, motivation, and the goals’ importance, urgency or alignment with our values. When we set our goals we’re thinking about who we’d like to be, rather than who we are.
Some of us have to fail again and again at goal-setting to come to terms with who we are and how we can bring about the best version of ourselves in this world. If we set our goals focusing on someone who is not me, we run the risk of failing signally.
Once you know who you are and what really matters, it gets easier. As William James, the psychologist and philosopher said, to change your life you need to start immediately, do it flamboyantly, and allow no exceptions.