What you tell and what they hear

What you tell and what they hear

communication
Rawpixel.com Most of our communication becomes a story. This may not be intentional at our end, but often the recipient creates a story out of what we’re telling her.  Imagine that someone in your team comes to you with an idea, and you say “Listen, this is a great idea, but I don’t think it’ll work right now because we don’t have the budget or the network to execute it, although I’m not saying I’m not open to hearing more if you can elaborate further.” This is a clear message: concise and polite.  However, somewhere in his mind your co-worker is thinking“Here we go again. He doesn’t like my idea. Every single time I come up with a suggestion I get the same kind of comment. He never takes my…
Read More

Why your message needs to move from R to E

communication
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to influence people using perfectly rational arguments? I bet you’ve tried time after time, and failed consistently. Perfectly rational arguments have never convinced anybody to do anything that they weren’t already convinced about for other reasons. Even in the most dramatic and difficult situations such as hostage negotiations, where you might think logic and rationality are top of the agenda, the FBI recommends that negotiators use active listening, empathy, and rapport. As you will notice, there is no trace of “use perfectly clear and logical argument” or “make sure that what you’re saying is correct” or “show a rigorous and analytic approach when you talk.”  We know that communication is more emotional than analytical, but we can’t resist the temptation to think otherwise.…
Read More

Look at your blog to find your story

communication, story
Sometimes we struggle to define ourselves. Have you looked at your blog categories recently? What are you writing about? What intersections are you creating? What conversations come up over and over again? Are your most-used tags about efficiency, productivity, measuring and performing? Or about creativity, meaning, connection and community? You might be surprised to find that sometimes what we think we’re saying and what we actually say can be completely different. 
Read More
Never hire an assistant

Never hire an assistant

Business, communication, delegation
Nassim Taleb says in his book Skin in the Game that the best advice he ever got was from a successful and happy entrepreneur, Yossi Vardi, who told him never to hire an assistant.  The reason? You will end up doing things that you only enjoy and start living your life from this place, a place where you don’t have skin on the game. This is not a new idea, Miró spent his afternoons answering letters and never ever hired an assistant for this job. The criteria for delegation shouldn’t be based on ‘I don’t want to do this’. When you hire an assistant to communicate with others, to handle meetings, to put barriers between you and the people that you want to serve and work with you, you’re losing…
Read More
A way to connect

A way to connect

Business, communication, story, strategy
  How many times have you sought ways of telling a compelling story about your business? How many hours have you spent thinking about how to craft an inspiring story that reflects your “why”? How many times have you changed your website trying to reflect what sets you apart? In this equation of trying to communicate who we are, we tend to forget that the people we’re seeking to serve have their own stories, their own “why”, their own dreams about what sets them apart. The best strategy starts with two questions: What is it? and Who this is for? Connection leads to conversion, but never the other way around.
Read More